Category Archives: Internet dating

Eat The Pie

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I had an interesting conversation with a very close and dear friend this morning. She’s my moral barometer. When I do things that are negative I think how she would be disappointed, or what she would have done in the same situation.

She’s the friend who you aspire to be more like. Make you try to be a better person.

We were talking about the topic of topics in my life at the moment…..MrJ

I explained to her how I felt that the ‘I’m done’ text was beyond rude and out of character. And that I felt I must apologise.

I will do so because I believe all should be treated with respect even people who are not respectful.

As hard as it maybe to respect someone who upsets me my conscience demands that I treat people as well as I possibly can. My insomnia kicks in when I fail to do so.

We spoke about dating and wondered how many people find it difficult to make a choice.

Perhaps sites like Tinder and Blendr are akin to standing in an old fashioned sweet shop and looking at all the jars unable to decide. Simply spoilt for and overwhelmed by the choice. Until eventually you buy too many quarters of a variety of sweets.

Is our ability to focus and commit to a single person being eroded?

Replaced with a multiple of message based relationships with several people we want to sleep with or find a bit interesting.

These sites allow us to sit on our sofas, without even the need to make the effort of combing our hair, holding several titillating conversations at the same time. Do people constantly wonder if the grass is greener?

Are people waiting to see if someone better will swipe right?

Is the likes of Tinder creating a kind of ADHD of dating?

I’m not like that.

When I met MrJ I simply stopped swiping.

I chose him.

I focused and gave him the attention I felt he deserved. The chance to see if something fruitful could come of our interaction.

Doubtless there are many suitable guys but here was a great guy right in front of me. What’s left to be looking for as he sits across the table and expresses an interest in me too?

I reminded myself of my mantra number 4………….

The grass is always greener on the other side because someone has spread more shit on it.

So I called him this evening.

Voicemail.

Relief and disappointment all rolled into one.

Once again I’m reminded why I like this guy.

He has the funniest voicemail greeting I’ve ever heard.

I burst out laughing. The kind where you’re thankful you swallowed that mouthful of tea already!

By the time the tone goes I’m concentrating on stifling my laughter and I’ve forgotten everything I was going to say.

I couldn’t remember why I was vexed enough to want to stop communicating with him. It didn’t seem so important through the laughter.

Anyway my message ends up being a garbled and rushed apology. Not at all how it played out in my head!

But still, I can but hope that it is accepted. That he is not offended or pissed and that I have redeemed myself slightly.

And that, as they say, is all she wrote…………….

……..about MrJ.

(I hope he finds ‘the one he can’t wait to see again,’ soon)