Category Archives: MrMA

Alone at sea

a dark

When all is quiet and the breath falls heavy and high
As the air slowly thickens in the corners of the room
Shadows long and dark loom, sentinels over my fixed lines
The blank canvas above swirls with imaginary ebbs and flow
As silence gives way to the flutter in my ear
While the edges trace the cupids bow
Adrift, as I am, on a sea of Egyptian cotton
Residue of past coupling whisping up into the air
Anchorless, floating on a tide of longing
Little whispers of sighs lost in solitude
Unheard by the shipmate of a life

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© Mints And Wisdom 2015;

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Death of Love; possibly Part II

2015/01/img_2070.jpg

Almost 20 years
He rebounds off my circumstance
And I off his
Now just he and I
No more recoil
Nor convenient excuse
Here we are
All or nothing
Do or die
Our friendship crystallised
Emerges as butterfly
Or corpse

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© Mints And Wisdom 2015

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Invest

I stretch my thoughts out into hope
Where my wish transforms
Into action
This is where you feel
My love for you
Nestled in between the kisses,
Of the teeth pulling on bottom lip,
Open arms
And longing
Is the care and affection
For the foundation of your new home
There, look deeper,
Is loyalty, friendship and passion
Waiting for your investment

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© Mints And Wisdom 2015; Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Back To C25K For 2015

runner

Hi runners, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything relating to my C25K journey.  Plagued with the dreaded planta faciitis running became really painful, this was followed with a couple of bouts of flu, house guests and a new work commitment which resulted in my not focusing on running for almost four months!

Now I know it’s just a bunch of excuses and I just wasn’t focused but I have to get back to the programme. I cheated myself as I really enjoy running. It gives me my much needed alone time, helps me to process my thoughts clearly and invigorates me.

Last week I returned to the C25K programme and convinced myself that I probably couldn’t run at all after so long. So I decided to push myself with the 5 x 4 minute with 2 minute recovery runs. I was sure this would be a major challenge.

I crept into the gym under a cloak of shame and found my favourite treadmill free, so far so good.

To my utter surprise I ran the first 4 minutes so fast that it was over before it started.  Those minutes flew past so quickly and I only felt a bit of a challenge on the last run.

Two days later I ran the 5 x 6 minute with 2 minute recovery run.  A gain the last 6 minute run was the challenge.

Yesterday I went for the 3 x 8 minute with 2 minute recovery run. Now this was the point at which my time from running began to show. I ran the first two runs but had to walk half of the third run.

So here’s my challenge for the week……………………. Finish that third 8 minute run.

And that is a major challenge for me.

Firstly, because as MrMA pointed out,  my calves are ridiculously tight. He says his athletes don’t have such tightness in their claves and that I need to have some proper treatment. He’s taken to sitting on the sofa and doing sports massage on my lower limbs while watching footie on TV. I would say it was cute, romantic or loving if it hadn’t been so bloody painful! It was my left calf that let me down on the last 8 minute run. Mentally I could have continued but my calf was as taunt as a bow string and I was feeling pain on impact. So for now I’m foam rollering out every morning until I can get some proper treatment. I’m looking for sports massage in north London, all suggestions are welcome!

My insomnia is also a challenge. I’m down to about 3 hours sleep a night and that is just not enough for me to function well during the day. Also on Mr MA’s recommendation I’m trying ZMA. It’s a combination of zinc, magnesium and vitamin B-6 or pyridoxine. It’s mostly used as a recovery aid and studies show that it helps the body achieve deeper Ievels of REM sleep. This morning after my fourth night on ZMA I’ve noticed a difference. Firstly I slept for over 6 hours last night and secondly I remember dreaming. This is a big deal for me as I can’t remember dreaming for weeks.

So, challenges aside,  I’m committing to running three times a week from this point on and getting back to my 30 minute runs before the end of February.

I’m going to make it!

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A Chance Loop

If you change your mind
I’m the first in line
Honey I’m still free
Take a chance on me

Abba is a big thing in my family! A car journey with the kids inevitably involves the full Abba Gold album sang by all at full volume with the inevitable lyric corrections from my sassy five year old niece.
Abba has been playing a lot in my head of recent days.

If you change your mind
I’m the first in line
Honey I’m still free
Take a chance on me

These lyrics are on a permanent loop and they annoy the hell out of me because in my head I’m singing them to MrMA.
And quite frankly I don’t want to ever be the woman hanging around waiting for a guy to change his mind and choose me.

Like some back up plan.

Some reserve side chic.

My life is good and happy.

You have to enhance that.

You have to want me.

Oh you can take your time baby, I’m in no hurry, know I’m gonna get you
You don’t wanna hurt me, baby don’t worry, I ain’t gonna let you

Return Of The MA(C)

So you say I write too many long emails.

And I have promised not to write any more to you.

I don’t think we mentioned anything about blogging…….. did we? No I’m sure we didn’t as you don’t even know that I write a blog. I’m quite sure you don’t.

So no emails but loads of blog posts.

And I’ll forget about the Tort conversation.

So we are now in our 20th year of this ‘relationship’. After being together for 2 years at Uni we have been dropping in and out of each other’s lives ever since. You proposed; I refused. I wanted; you didn’t. You proposed again; I refused. I had a kid; you got married. I became single; you had kids.

Our timing has always been out but life has always pulled us back together. We’ve both been at different stages of our lives and unable to be with each other or commit.

We’ve had moments sat arguing on the couch, warred by text, dined in splendour, kissed with passion, we ran away for long weekends and ignored each other for years.

We’ve been frustrated and angry with each other.

But it’s always comes back round to you and I.
So here we are again.

Only this time we are unattached and free. Free to go where we want, do what we want.
Free to be ………………………. With each other.

Why is that so scary?

We say we will see how that goes. That this is our opportunity to finally build the relationship that we’ve always wanted.

We say we will see how it goes. We say it casually.

Why is that so scary?

I waiver from wanting it to go fast and be a full blown relationship; to wanting to run and hide. It’s a bit overwhelming.

Was part of the attraction the constant chase and longing? Is the memory of us in our early twenties better than the reality of now?

Should we even try?

As you left this morning you advised me; ‘don’t think too much about it’

Which was like asking a fish not to swim.