Category Archives: Internet Dating

Weird and Wonderful Fish

 

 

So this week has been an internet dating eye opener. I have discovered the weird and wonderful fish in the lake………………

Or maybe they have discovered me.

In my inbox was a wonderful lengthy essay from my self-appointed slave.

Oh yes ladies and gentlemen.

My slave

A slave has offered his complete and utter service to my needs. For no sexual exchange nor financial gain he is willing to run all my errands, do any DIY needed on my house, drive me where ever I need to go, fetch my shopping, do the gardening and perform any other services I require.

He promises utter devotion.

I cannot lie

This is sooooooo very tempting!

My house could use a fresh coat of paint and the garden needs pruning. I have a couple of floorboards (all original in my house) that need replacing and lots of wood that needs to be chopped.

Tempting indeed!

Would you?

Now I don’t know what’s in the lake water this week but I also received an email from a lovely confident looking fellow who is looking for someone;

Who insists on ruling her man and making him obey her strictly and be under firm control whenever she decides that is necessary and also he should be happy to serve her no matter what she demands. If you feel naturally confident and dominate then it would be nice to negotiate my surrender

This is a revelation people! I wonder do I look naturally domineering in my profile pictures?

I guess people see what they want to see.

This is the beauty of internet dating.  Its much easier to put in writing, to a person that you may never need meet, your fantasies and needs.

You can be up front from the very beginning.

Nerves

So right now I’m feeling pre-first date nerves. I am finally going on a date with someone I met on the internet.

Enter stage left……. MrJ

I can stand a give a lecture to a hundred people so why am I feeling this bout of nerves.

Rejection. The possibility of.

I guess when it comes down to it we don’t want to feel rejection.

I’m fortunate. My nerves are ebbing and flowing like a wave.

I buffer between nerves and my usual realist self.

I have nothing to lose if there is no connection.

Possibly something to gain if there is one.

At the very least; I’ll have a drink in pleasant company and a bit of banter.

Maybe make a new friend.

TMI?

Okay I confess. I’m a bit of a coward.

You see I write this blog under a pseudonym. I want to write about my life, experiences and thoughts but I don’t really want everyone to know that I’m me.

This is a bit stupid because a lot of my friends know I’m the author.

Frighteningly I gave the details of my blog to the Tinder guy last night. (He needs a moniker here, let’s call him MrJ). Now is that over sharing?

Can it be over sharing when my posts are available for anyone to read, anywhere, anytime?

I read through a lot of what I’ve written in the past and admit a lot can be taken out of context. We write suitable to what emotional state or experience we are having at the time and the interpretation of that depends on the reader.

How would I feel if I were MrJ, finding out all sorts of history, good and bad, in one fell swoop about a person I’m interested in? Would that be off putting?

I would be somewhat disappointed if MrJ cooled as a result but on the other hand I’m not about to stop writing. So it may be the sooner the introduction to my ramblings the better.

Life is a game of chance isn’t it? I’d rather just be who I am than pretend to be something else, to keep secrets or provide half-truths.

Let me introduce myself…………..

Hi, my name is Sarah.

And I’m a good person.

Find Minty A Man ! The Fishless Hunt Is On!

Okay WordPress luvvies I think I’m almost ready to give up on Internet dating but before I do I’m going to ask for your help.

Flame haired mixed raced voluptuous single forty-something Lady

20130919-233107.jpg

 

Seeks a sane, educated, forty-something fairly attractive gentleman.

(Yes! this is my Internet dating WordPress add)

Let me start by answering the typical profile questions;

 

 

My Self Summary;

Eyes; Green

Hair; Red (via L’Oreal)

Height; 5’ 6’’

Body type; Curves and a big bumper

Religion; nothing organised, spiritual

Ethnicity; White/black African

I’m looking for a relationship but guess I’ll have to hang out with a few frogs before I find a prince. No problem, they say romance is dead; well I’m not sure who ‘they’ are so I’ll hold out for some as I have quite a bit left in me.

I’ve been single for (ahem cough-cough) for a while now. I’m happy but would like to find someone to share laughter, talk culture, discover new things and argue over the duet with.

What I’m doing with my life;

I’m currently working full time as a manufacturing planner. It’s demanding.

I’m a single mom to an 11 year old. I also have an older child, a graduate living independently, who comes round occasionally to raid my fridge and use extraordinary amounts of my shampoo.

I have a lovely (if small) group of cherished friends.

I’m really good at;

Throwing parties, dinners and barbecues. I have great organisational skills. I’m a good listener and I’m told I’m a really good friend.  I’m the calm one in a real crisis but a bit of a screamer in situations where little spiders are involved.

(I’m hopeless at gardening, every plant Itouch dies……you have been warned! Also life is way too short to iron!)

My likes;

Travelling. Spent 3 weeks in April 2013 travelling round Thailand with my 10 year old, Bangkok, Chiang Mai and some island hopping. Great fun!

Solitude. I like my own space to have quiet time to read and watch old movies in a massive hoodie and woolly socks from time to time.

Wood. I have an open fire.  I’d like to have a handsome man wield the rotary saw and chop the wood for winter(I mean that; I mean come on it’s too much for a girl; plus I always leave it until it is actually winter!)

Writing. I’m a fledgling blogger. I write whatever comes to mind and my blog has no clear identity as yet. I just hope readers enjoy it. Oh and yes, I have unashamedly reached out to my blogging community to help me find a date, maybe more who knows!

Six things I could not live without;

What? Six is just not enough! The 10 things I could never do without are my family, conversation, iPhone, Lagos, sunshine, my friends, music, books, pounded yam, laughter!

I spend time thinking about;

I’m a bit curious so can often be thinking about whether I should take apart something to see how it works, what would happen if I put a peg on the cats tail, why are coco-pops being advertised at 21.19 at night; I mean who is the target market really? Would anyone notice if I never ironed a single thing ever again? How to avoid the balloons at the school disco?

On a typical Friday night I am

Occasional Friday nights I’m probably out with friends at the theatre/movies/dinner just having a good time. Most of my clubbing days are behind me (as I clubbed a lot!) but I can be found in the middle of the dance floor on special occasions.

Not a skinny lass...

Not a skinny lass…

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Please Tweet #FindMintyAMan

Email; mintsandwisdom@gmail.com

Reblog it, pass it on!

Email it to your lovely London based/bound single friends.

Let’s find me at the very least a dinner date!

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Follow the links below for my other internet dating posts

Single Redhead Seeks Man Without Fish http://wp.me/p3tJrr-b1

Whats In The FishTtank? http://wp.me/p3tJrr-al

Swimming With The Fishes http://wp.me/p3tJrr-9m

Where Are The Fish? http://wp.me/p3tJrr-9a

#FindMintyAMan

 

Swimming with the fishes

online-dating

Well so far it’s not going so well. I have had around forty ‘he wants to meet you’ messages on Zoosk. This is a bit of a problem as I haven’t paid up on Zoosk.

I have, however paid a month membership on Match.com, where I’ve had less of a response.

Typical.

Though I can’t read the whole of the messages, here are some of the gorgeous and enticing first paragraphs of messages sent to me on Zoosk; (my responses in brackets)

• Rusty; wink wink
• Mark, wink wink
• Echo; ooooooh…if compatibility tests were everything?  Hope your week’s started well.
• Bonzaneil; you sound feisty!
• Bath Guy; introvert or extrovert? (Depends on the situation 😉 )
• Darren; wink wink
• Underwaterastronaut; how was heaven when you left it? (desolate)

There were another 15 messages that said wink, wink!

To be honest the only interesting person seemed to be Underwaterastronaut. On what have I based this…………his smile and eyes! His is opening line was definitely cheesy but I’m guessing the rest of his mail was better.

So do I pay up on Zoosk? Errr no as they don’t have an option for a month and I’m not sure I want to commit to 3 months at a hefty price.

I’m also a little scared (or maybe scarred!) as some of the profile pictures are, to put it bluntly, freaky.
Men really don’t care to try to think about what a woman may find appealing.

Here’s my list of top profile picture turn offs;

Wearing blackout shades in all of profile pictures….TAKE THEM OFF!! Underwaterastronuot had a cheeky smile and nice soft eyes……….sold! If a woman can’t see your eyes your chances of engaging are slim to say the least. One guy had 7 pictures up and was wearing sunnies in every single one! What are you hiding? One of the things women always check out are a guy’s eyes so if we can’t see those ……….next!

The countless bare chested profile pictures. Ewwww put it away my friends especially if you’re not sporting a six pack. Honestly we ladies are not interested in viewing stranger armpit hair! Leave something for after you’ve dazzled us with your sparkling charm.

Me and my dog pictures. Don’t get me wrong there are many dog loving women but when you’re holding a vicious looking Rottweiler by its head or tail or round its neck I just click on by without a second glance.

Me and my girlfriends’ pictures. Okay so you’re on the site to find a girlfriend but every picture is of you either draped over some woman or some woman draped all over you. What are you trying to put across to your potential mate? I’m super popular with the ladies? I’m a party guy? I’m irresistible?………………………I’m not interested!

Shirtless with a beer, shirtless with a fag; yes I’m repeating myself here readers but I just have to. Fag sticking out of your mouth, glugging down a Super Tenants. This just conjures up images of a sofa-surfing-frequent-farter. Never was there a worse turn off for me!

Half of a face profile pictures. So you’re only offering a view from your nose up, chin down, left side, right side. We ladies know this well, having taken countless selfies to ascertain our ‘best side’ we also know that’s how we hide our not so great bits. So what are you hiding Mr-from-the-nose-up in every pic… a chin the size of Mount Rushmore? An unhealthy growth?………………………click

I would impart the following gem to all those gents out there…. Take your selfie pic from above you muppets! Far more flattering than hoping ladies wont fixate on staring up you nostrils.

I feel I must mention and applaud the sweaty rotund shirtless guy holding up what seemed to be a ferret tightly by the neck while dangling a cigarette from his jowls. I salute your optimism (or lack of realism) in thinking that that one and only profile picture will stand you in good stead with the ladies. You’re a cup is half full kind of guy!

The love search goes on…………….pray for me!

For selfie taking tips;
http://news.menshealth.com/take-a-tasteful-selfie/2013/08/27/