So now I’m at that crossroad where I usually falter. You see my problem is that I like my life.
I live with my 11 year old in a house that is large enough to accommodate guests whenever we want to invite people over. I have small group of lovely friends and a supportive family. I even have a great ex-mother-in-law.
I come and go as I please and my home is full of laughter and music. I have a good job. I travel when I can afford to and stay in bed when I want to. I go for a run at the drop of a hat.
I have a friend with benefits who I see a couple of times a year to quench my thirsts 😉
Do I want to throw another person into the mix?
The arguments for not doing so are clear;
- Life is essentially good.
- It’s uncomplicated and peaceful.
- I answer to no one; I’m the Queen of my castle
- I come and go as I please
- I don’t cook for or clean up after another adult.
- I enjoy my own company and am often alone but not lonely
But the flip side is also very clear
- Adult companionship, conversation
- Sharing the load and life
- Good regular sex
- Being in love
Being in a relationship requires work and commitment and I ask myself if I am ready to give what it takes to be a good partner to someone.
- Am I selfish?
- Can I communicate adequately?
- Can I share my space eventually? (Lord knows I love my king-size bed!)
- Could I co-parent? Could I watch someone attempt to parent my child? Could I be a good stepmother?
I guess as I’ve gotten older I’m better at all of the above. The fact that I’m thinking about these things, instead of rushing headlong into relationship after relationship, is in itself maturity. My priorities are making sure that I’m a good parent and that I provide for my girls adequately also that I lead a healthy and happy life. I think having a life partner is part of that for me but that partnership has to be positive and an enhancement to what I’ve already built.
So I’m taking things slow and steady as I want to make the right choices.
But there’s nothing wrong with a bit of flirtation and a few dinner dates along the way.