Single Redhead Seeks Man Without Fish

Yeah.....errrm well done mate, I'm sure you'll be very happy together.

Yeah…..errrm well done mate, I’m sure you’ll be very happy together.

Okay so three weeks in and I am just so creeped out with Internet dating already. I’m yet to exchange emails with anyone and I haven’t met up with a single person! I’m ready already to throw in the towel.

What’s creeping me out?

Good question! Maybe I’ve been out of the dating game for too long and I’m overly sensitive. Perhaps I’m too shy and too scared to really put myself out there.

It could be a combination of all of the above however there are definitely a number of things putting me off clicking on peoples profiles.

User names!

Guys, guys, guys ……why? I hold my head in my hands in wonderment and possibly despair. Do you wonder why you are single and no woman ever responds to you eloquent wink wink messages? Seriously?

Really I mean what’s wrong with women, why are they not responding to Hardnutz, Cutiecum or Smackthat123?

We are not responding because the user name tells us a whole lot in an instance. I’m sorry but any way you slice it Cutiecum is just gross! Off putting and nasty. It says something about how you perceive and are likely to treat a woman. It says a lot about your intention!

And it is not at all as witty as you probably think it is.


So you cant be bothered to fill out your profile information. Apparently ‘ask me later’ is witty or maybe adds, in your mind, an air of irresistible mystery. However words like lazy, shady and ‘cant be arsed’ spring to mind. If you cant be bothered to fill it out with a few lines how can anyone get a feel for who you are as a person? Honestly that picture of you and a carp is just not enough for me.


Dude, why so negative? I’ve combed through profile after profile that has lines like ‘not into head games, agro’, ‘no times wasters or losers’ or ‘not on here to mess about’ wow! So not enticing at all.

Some guys sound down right nasty and aggressive! There are countless profiles which are mostly a list of things they don’t want. Being warned how not to behave by you in your profile blurb is a sure fire way to set alarm bells ringing in your female readers. As soon as I come across that kind of language I’m instantly turned off even if the guy is a David Beckham or a Denzel or a Cillian Murphy look a like. Game over dude as who wants to bring a negative person into their lives.

Lead with the positive guys.


“Honestly that picture of you and a carp is just not enough for me.”

What’s with all the fish? No I mean really? Profile picture after profile picture of guys holding up giant fish. Only God knows what kind of fish they are ………………………..and trust me, only God cares.

Women see …….Ugly bloody fish!

Your profile picture is supposed to entice women. Make them think you’re sexy, fun, attractive. That you’re the kind of guy they’d like to spend time with. Its not for a penis competition with the guys down the pub….. Look I’ve got one this big!

This could possibly be worse than the grappling with a Rottweiler pose. I see fish I think smelly, slimy, yucky.

Sorry guys but that’s the truth of the matter.


Follow the links below for my other internet dating posts

Whats in the fish tank?

Swimming with the fishes

Where are the fish?



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