So I thought I’d share some of this week’s dating inbox gems, just as they were written (if spell check will allow such grammer and not just switch off my iPad in protest);
• Alibaba; Hi how are you? I really like to know you closely and you know me closely to please don’t judge from profile because is very easy for people to lies but real is something all’s im waiting for your reply,have lovely day.
• Alibaba; hi honey in your profile say the first thing people notice about you is you’re her but that’s most beautiful her to me so im asking you please even you like me or not lets say as a friends thank you.
• London2; Hi x
• Neusans; I had to wait until its dark to see the sparkling stars. But now I can see it anytime in your eyes. I had to look in the shells for pearls but now I can see them in your smile. I had to look for silk worm to find silk but now I find it in your hair. I had to look at the flowers for the beauty and freshness but now I see it in your face. So I thank god for making you with all in one so I do not need to wander around to look for them. Good morning darling.
• Ciise; hot
• Ciise; Love you
• Shin; people call me by my name but you can call me tonight
• Blackguy; I lost my phone number; can I have yours
• Yesh; 0754xxxxx7 text me babe wanna come take u cinema and nandos and ill come with 350 quid to take u shopping too…..lets have fun b text me b
• Bond; wink wink
• Zaz; write me if youre interested in striking up a conversation.
Now there are more than a few issues here….. where do I start!
Alibab -had no profile picture and no filled out profile so I ask you; what’s to like?
London2 – one word dude – sunglasses!
Neusans – You’re either sweet or insane but definitely a nuisance.
Ciise – I do not love you; it’s over before it’s started and sunglasses!
Shin and blackguy………………………..eeeeeeewwww
Blackguy – sunglasses too!
Bond/Zaz/ and all the other messages of wink wink, Hi, call me etc. I don’t mean to be rude but boring boring boring. Zzzzzzzz
Finally a special mention to my little gangster…..
Yesh – how could I refuse an offer like that? My 10 year old loves Nandos but I would be underwhelmed by date night that consisted of the activities of her last play date. However you are only 26, clearly a generous and handsome young fellow, so my 40 something (clearly stated on my profile) mother of a 24 year old graduate (also on my profile) self thanks you for a marvellous ego boost.
That ego boost thank you is extended to all the nubile under 30 year olds that have sent me lots of messages. I’m more than surprised and flattered!
Tempted; I am
Cougar; I’m not
Check out my other posts on my internet dating forays;