CHOOSE (my personal survivor poem)

BirdcageBig
Malevolently enchanted I lay myself open to the people of the lie
And they come smiling sweetly baring their teeth
I fall and weave and scream
At every non-existent blow they wheeled
Panicking at the hologram of worthlessness in me
Confusion, dishonesty, lovelessness
I recede, ebb and flow on moments of mood
Kiss me, caress me, appease the devils
Seconds away from my insanity, some others morality
Shooing off, shooing off
I could open my eyes and search for clarity
Amidst years of brutality, wretchedness, hopefulness
Oh, those hour long moments

Could I choose?

Years as bird in cage
Surrounded by giants murmuring ‘who’s a pretty girlie’
Then sticking fingers between bars to pluck feathers out
Till bald and hurt, battered and bleeding, indifferently, I conceded

Should I choose?

Covertly supposing to know me, open me out to cut down freely, fiercely, cleanly
Using ques foolishly provided by the child within
Desperately clinging to love from loveless frames of shallow knowledge

I can choose

More than fleeting, flying freedom
Starving, breathless images of love
Misinformed, ignorant caricature of knowledge, of goodness
Self-centred, ego-loaded, fair weathered friendship
Pelvic pounding, spirit crushing intrusions of supposed lovers
The domination of mind and body

I choose truth

Self-love, respect and trust
Aloneness, renewal, rebirth
To search for elusive treasure of learning, of growth
To revel in my beauty, the tone of skin, swell of breast, curve of bone
Depths of levels of spirituality
Times of clarity, emotion
Dispelling people of the lie, trying to engross me, own my hope, joy, light
Reclaiming my energy, speaking actually,
De-mystifying complex relationships bringing
Purity, love, fallibility

I choose me

My own sanity, rational, belief
The beauty of my nakedness, tenderness of my thighs, my smile
The simplicity of laughter, the innocence of my child
Choose to hear what I do not say, what others do not say
To say no, say yes
Fight daemons face-to-face, day-to-day
Rise from the ashes, carve, create, dictate my own way
Tow no more lines, step outside
Believe every step, word, slight of hand, every kiss, day, bares choice
I marry myself, in honour, love, in sickness and health
I choose my own growth and plunge into my darkest depths
And re-discover freedom, understanding, compassion, uniqueness

Choose

Truth, enlightenment, love growth
Tend carefully, knowledgably the garden that is self
Choose
Health

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2 thoughts on “CHOOSE (my personal survivor poem)

    1. Minty Post author

      Thank you. This poem means so much to me. When I used to perform it live I would go through emotions from fear to elation.

      Reply

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