Monthly Archives: May 2013

THE JUMP


The lake shimmered under the gaze of the unsteady eye, looking up to the slit of a shadow approaching the cliff.
Body trembled in the slight breeze as it stepped to the ledge of the overhang. Head hung down so that eyes could stare and see what was below.
Lake shimmered and whispered haunting invitations in the twilight as the wind lightly stroked her.
‘No more dislocation, become part of me’
‘Return, surrender,
Body despised lake because she was consistent; always wet, deep and cooling. Eyes blinked and hands assisted by wiping away the tears. Feet curled its toes round the springy grass underneath sending tremors of uncertainty through body, who acquired weight tripling actuality.
Everything around body seemed quiet, peaceful and still, reminiscent of previous visits. Yet head was filled with piercing screams and banging. Further complicated and intensified by the fact that release valves located in mouth and its associates tongue and throat refused to cooperate in expression. Eyes focused on the gentle lapping of the lakes silken gusset and drank in tranquility.
Throughout this time mind had been racing with a whirlpool of questions swirling into its depths.
‘Why am I here? Why have I lead the physical here? Is it all my fault?’
Body pulled itself up to its full height and felt the stretch of the calf and the arch of the back. It pulled tension from foot to crown. As the tension rose, mind pulled in sync with the eye and realised the beauty of dusk spreading out before it, the orange glow of sunset on the horizon over the other side of the lake. Nerves moved in and gate-crashed on mind and eye. acknowledging the gentle breeze and subtle smells from the orchard nearby. The doors of mind opened out on sensory experience and bodys numbness was lifted. All around nature displayed a wealth of creativity and mind was inspired.
Arms slowly rose above head in a nervous gesture of preparation and body sured itself up below. With a familiar precision hands guided body from the ledge in one fluid motion to slice through lakes shimmering surface just as sun disappeared over the horizon.
As water covered body, mind was invigorated with an acceptance of ability and triumph. Skin tingled all over with the pinprick of coolness. The resurface was an explosion of certainty and joy.
As Mina swam back to the bank of the lake, she acknowledged the fears and the clarity she held inside and as she climbed out she felt clearer about her options.
Padding back through the glen to her cottage she whispered her mantra;
‘I experience in my own way’

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IMPASSE

There are moments
When you envelope me in smiles
The smell of soft brown leather
Of the softness of warm skin

There I falter
Tripping over breeze blocks
Hurriedly rebuilding
Cementing cracks
That allow the seeping trust
Creeping peace to invade the desert

When those moments
Make my heart open in smiles
Light the corners of my eyes
Or release hidden sighs from my lips

Then I push
Running over memories
Harshly defending
Create reasoning
That allow utter disbelief
And absolute self-protection

After the moments
Sitting in the quiet alone
Missing the movement of you
Or the sound of your voice

Then I wish
For the sound of returning footsteps
The hand at the small of my back
The nose in the crook of my neck
And your unspoken dreams for us

Through The Glass

Through the plate glass
See me
Want to touch, to feel me
To smell me?
While I bend, hitting repeatedly
Clenching knees discreetly
Shuffle around me
Thank you and please me
Engage, retain and be near me

Across the soft lit table
Hear me
Want to understand me, disprove
To save me?
While I tell, grin, childishly
Expose my insecurities
Wait for the hurting

And at night, when no one else
Can see me
Want to taste, to bend
To please me?
While I sigh, stretch languidly
Exposing soft skin
Smelling sweetly
Want to inhale deeply, freely
Plunge in. lose yourself completely
To fear me
Own me possess me
Fulfil me or kill me?

Promises

How can I tell you my pain
Between the ifs and the buts
Are the time and the musts
And if I said we should part
I know you’d leave with your mind
Grieve with your heart
But you’d say that its cool
Conventionality something
You gave up at school
And if you’d just say the words
Than I’d give you a lifetime
Of honour and love
It would be just one line
‘I’m sorry my darling, I hurt what is mine’
I return to you
Here I am to stay for all time
Until our wind will not blow
And our sun cease to shine
To give you a heart
To lean on in strife
To keep you warm
And bring you clam of surety
To pick the pieces that fall
To praise the moments when you give your all

Yam and Chips

I am standing at the bus stop
I want to close my eyes
And have the ocean gently lap me away
To where pea green mists seep through my thoughts
And washes them in clarity
Flooding me

Ebbing and flowing away from the city
Past the moment, the history
And see myself through a pale blue light in the mirror
Kissing my stomach, embracing my frame
Paying compliments to the ability of my being

Ebbing and flowing away from the village
Past the future, the present
The machinations of construct
And hear the innocent laughter at the dawn of life
Before awareness crept in and displaced me in my own homes
And feel the harmony of the rhythm before the diaspora

Ebbing and flowing away from the morals
Past the religion, the culture
The systems of tribalism
Pacing at the bus stop
The token pawn for the 9 to 5’ers
And followed lovingly round department stores

Ebbing and flowing through mis-placement
Through fragmentation, the suppositions
Into confusion of identity
Sobbing at the bus stop
Wearing adidas sneakers and a purple buba
Knowing its chips for tea at mummys’
And yam on Tuesdays at daddys’

Office Woe

Step away from me
Don’t lean so close to see the screen
I understand you’re socially award
And your work ‘more important’
That’s why you’d interrupt
An obviously busy me

Step away from me
Don’t invade space to make your point
Or breathe a rancid haze
Over my hair, my clothes, my space
It drives me crazy