Count to 20

Sometimes we have to take a step back and examine self. 

We can all get caught up in a moment and only have the luxury of hindsight as cold comfort. 

The best lesson I learnt in the last 48 hours is when those sneaky old past traumas rear an ugly head I should just stop where I’m standing and count to 20. Give myself a moment to remember that that was then and this is now. 

Surviving abuse is only the battle, living without it colouring the rest of your life is the war. 

#survivor #mentalhealth #abusesurvivor #rapesurvivor



They say time is a great healer but I know there isn’t enough time in one life to heal the scars I bear from my childhood.

Oh I’ve spent a long time being angry, years. During that time I made others suffer, not intentionally but because I didn’t handle my pain appropriately. It was ugly.

But something truly lovely has happened to me over the last five years or so.

I’ve let go.

I’m not sure when the last fragments of anger whisped away between my fingers but I’m no longer clenching my fists.

I’ve noticed that once you no longer hold on tight and choose to box things appropriately away when you’re through with them you’re no longer a mental slave to love and anger.

I no longer argue to win.

I simply state my point and move on.

Saying NO is no longer a hard thing to do, there is no guilt attached to it.

I try to make a conscious effort to lead with the positive.

I stand back to watch negativity as a bystander would gaze at ducks swimming in the pond at the park; quietly and detached.